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Confessions of a Frigid Man
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Foreword to English Readers
This book was published under the title A Frigid Man (Kanjinai Otoko) in Japanese in 2005. It soon stirred controversy over the nature of male sexuality, male “frigidity,” and its connection to the “Lolita complex,” an adult male sexual obsession with young teenage girls. Today, this work is considered a classic in Japanese men’s studies.
The most striking feature of this book is that it was written from the author’s first-person perspective. I am a professor who teaches philosophy and ethics at a university in Japan, and in this book I talk about my own sexual fetishism, my feeling of emptiness after ejaculation, and my huge obsession with young girls and their developing female bodies. I undertake a philosophical investigation of how and why sexuality took such a form within a person who had grown up as a “normal,” heterosexual man.
This may be the first case in which a philosopher delves deep into his own sexuality and poses an ambitious hypothesis about the formation of male “frigid” sexuality, which might actually be shared by many “normal” men in our society in a hidden way. Reading this book, female readers will come to know, for the first time, some hidden aspects of male sexuality which men have skillfully submerged in a deep layer of their psyches.
In Chapter One, my fetish for women’s miniskirts is discussed. I argue that the reason why men are attracted to miniskirts is not because they wish to see under the miniskirt, but because they wish to see the dynamic tension between concealment and revelation which is automatically created by the lively movement of the hemline of a skirt. The development of this fetish is driven by a desperate, craving search for something that is supposed to provide men with intense pleasure but can never actually be found anywhere in this world. This is one of the most basic psychological/mental grounds of frigidity in men.
In Chapter Two, I discuss ejaculation on the basis of my own experience. I can feel a momentary pleasure during ejaculation, but almost immediately afterward I am engulfed by an overwhelming feeling of collapse and emptiness. I call this “male frigidity” and argue that many men, like myself, actually suffer from this kind of symptom. While many men tacitly know this fact, they usually look away from it and try to believe the false statement that ejaculation is nothing but heavenly pleasure. Psychiatric medicine has recognized the concept of “male orgasmic disorder;” however, “male frigidity” does not fall under this category. I also emphasize that frigid men’s way of consuming pornography is fundamentally twisted and obsessed; hence, it should be considered a kind of self-injury. In this chapter, readers gradually come to understand the basic concept of “male frigidity” and an outline of frigid men’s way of thinking.
Chapter Three discusses the fetishization of junior high and high school girls’ uniforms, which is said to be prevalent among Japanese adult men. Since English-speaking readers may not be as familiar with this phenomenon, I would like to make a brief comment here. In Japan, a majority of girls in junior high and high school wear uniforms to school. If you are a fan of Japanese manga or anime, you may immediately recall a young heroine wearing a jacket and a miniskirt at school. There are a number of adult men who are sexually attracted to these school uniforms. This mind-set seems to begin prevailing among people around the world who love manga/anime. And I confess that I am no exception. However, the reason why so many men are attracted to school uniforms has not been made clear in men’s studies. I analyze my inner sexuality and conclude that my fetishism has a close connection with my deep-rooted “male frigidity.” I argue that behind school uniform fetishism there lurks a strong desire to brainwash girls in uniforms, and closely examining this desire reveals another desire—to virtually transport myself into a girl’s body, which is possible only in the world of my imagination.
Chapter Four is the most controversial part of this book. I confess that I can understand erotic feelings towards young girls around the age of twelve. It is very unusual to read such words in a published book, but this is the starting point where my journey of exploration into the mystery of my strange and twisted sexuality begins, and readers will be strongly perplexed to read my analysis of why such sexuality has taken form inside me. I withhold writing its details here and leave them to the readers’ future enjoyment, but again I want to stress that my “male frigidity” plays an important role in the formation of my Lolita complex. I then discuss why some frigid men imagine having intercourse with young girls around the age of puberty. Although my hypothesis sounds very strange, it seems to be possible that my discussion might valuably contribute to the investigation of the pathology of adult men desiring preteen girls.
In Chapter Five, I undertake an investigation into my body image and discern that the idea that “my male body is dirty” has been deeply inscribed in me. This idea was formed when I first experienced wet dreams and masturbation. I became a frigid man when I was a junior high and high school student. And my experiences in my college-student days eloquently show what it is like to be a frigid man. I encourage men like me to frankly acknowledge the “frigidity” of their bodies and then try to find a way to dismantle their body image so as to become liberated from their obsessed sexuality.
The epilogue was written eight years after the book was first published. Readers can see what has happened in my actual life. I reply to some of the representative comments and criticisms that have appeared in the mass media, on the Internet, and in personal communications. I explain the method of “life studies” which was used in the book. This is a study method that can only be accomplished by “never detaching oneself from the subject being investigated.” You can find more information about the method of “life studies” in section two of the epilogue. Confessions of a Frigid Man is a philosophical experiment of applying this study method to the author’s own sexuality.
(End of Foreword)
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